HELP ME START AGAIN

I've been hiding under my invincible shadows

Beclouded by emotions

From my copious failed relationships

My mind has been convulsive

Convoluted by conundrums

Defiling all possible answers.

I've been ensnared in this labyrinth

My mind racing like a roller coaster

I just can’t make a step

Without being held back

By the invisible hand

My goals; my dreams; my hopes

I've holed up should I call for them one day.

I don’t know what else to do

I let loose myself in music

No words; no ideas; no nothing

Just me and my thoughts alone

But my music is fading like quickies

No longer in that melodious way as it used to

It tastes now like an expired drug

Making every moment sulkier than the previous.

But I've tried to keep on the lights

Stopped to keep on at myself or anyone

For the complications I face

I need a brainwave

My soul is unbolted for your admonitions

Not for another junk

Or just for another reassurance

But for what my soul yearns for

A way into love.

Though the stars have turned down

My supplications; to shine for me

Though the sun always depart me

Without bringing a little bit of shine

Into my solitary abode

Though the answers I seek for have eluded me

I know you’re out there waiting for me

I don’t just see the tell-tale signs

I'm well convinced

You'll help me start again.